Excitement creates

The energy of excitement is creative. When you feel it, enjoy it, feed it, drink it- it will grow. From this excitement things magically appear. Visions become realities and happen effortlessly.

When you feel that passion of excitement- like a warm sunny day after weeks of clouds, it efferveses and spreads. People feels it and it inspires.

Jessica said that my being excited about food makes her inspired to eat well. I’ve realized that all I do is enjoy things and get excited about them and then the rest just happens.

If you can let to of the voices that say you shouldn’t be excited, or not to be silly, or that it’s not that great for whatever reason then you can just stay with the feeling of excitement. It’s not really the outside thing that’s giving you the feeling. It’s all inside you and accesible already. The outside thing just offered the allowance to feel it. If you can get excited about what’s inside of you- all the possibilites then noone can take it away from you. You just have to allow yourself to feel it and let it create through you.

Cool. I’m excited to dance and be in the sun and have a wonderful day!

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Getting to bed

I was going to write something earlier but my battery on my phone died. It’s not doing too good.

Now it’s late, and I really have to get to bed earlier. There seems to be much to do… but I feel pretty balanced in the midst of it. Although I’ve had trouble today reading information correctly- maybe there’s been a little too much multi tasking going on!?

Me and Kim and Danica did a BodyTalk presentation this evening in Queens. It is so great to share this with people of all backgrounds, but united by an interest in being more healthy. It was funny cos they were all Spanish speaking and there was a translator, so I had to speak in sentances of five words or less! It was great to share the cortices and it’s incredible how you can feel the whole energy of the room lift. One woman said she felt like a big veil had been lifted.

On the way home on the train I felt so zingy from the BodyTalk buzz. It’s been a day of it. I had a session earlier with a woman who has had pain in her hip for years. I know it’s going to change dramatically over the next week or so. It’s beautiful to witness the connections that people start to make, and being witness to the magic of the unfolding session. It reminds myself that everything is energy and to trust and let go. When I do, I can feel the flow. It’s energizing.

Good night

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Food a-pee-reciation

What an amazing dinner. How I love happy vegetables. Making the trek all the way to Park Slope is worth it when I get home and unpack, and cook :-)

I appreciate food so much! And I’d forgotten how much I love pees!

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Breathing and being

I don’t know why I entitled my post that. I guess that’s what I need to remember.

I just read this in a book I wrote years ago, and it really inspired me: “No thought, no emotion, is without bio mechanical, electro-chemical activity, and the activity leaves no cell untouched.” I probably didn’t write that- or maybe I did. It actually surprised me some of the things that I wrote. I seemed to get a lot of what I’m doing now, except then I didn’t really know what it was then… and I didn’t have a proper outlet. 

I have stayed in all day today, which has been wonderful. I have been enjoying being home, and hanging out. Me and Jessica didn’t get dressed till 3pm! Perfect! I was actually feeling that for a while (ie a day) I haven’t had too many arse kickings from life! I had some time to breathe and take stock of things. But then, I got another push to step into my power and expansion. I was able to express things today that I have never been able to before. It felt really good. Innate is incredible. It’s totally calling me on my stuff, and making me take steps that I don’t really want to take… but I know I need to, and support me.

I spoke to my ‘family member’ today who had to go into hospital the last month to have his re-occurence of bladder cancer removed. I blackmailed him into coming and getting a BodyTalk session (which isn’t easy). Today I spoke to him, and he told me that the doctors were baffled because the tumor which they had cut out was coming back negative, ie. saying it was not cancer! They were very confused as this doesn’t happen in the medical world! I laughed and laughed. He is now a big transformed BodyTalker- again! (The same story happened a couple of years ago, except last time it completely disappeared.)

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Nearly home

One more home, and then I’m back in my home. Although now, I am feeling that my home is where I am :-) Or where my balls and theraband is! This painting is by a dear friend- Martine… I had the pleasure to stay with her beautiful sister last night, Saskia. I love it. I just stared at it for ages while I had the funniest conversation with Lauren. I love you Lauren! She said this “It’s not a bug, it’s not a bird… oh my god Laura, it must be a fairy!!!”  Very funny. You had to be there. (and I know I didn’t do a very good explanation!)

I was just realizing how much I have done and moved through this week. It’s been incredible. I was like “oh yeah, and I did this… and I did that… and I realized these things… and I was able to say this….” This life is amazing, and I am loving making new connections and making new friends and sharing with all my friends. It’s such a lovely thing! 

Funny delerious post a little bit! Must go to bed

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Central axis

I am feeling my central axis more each day… particularly since a couple of days ago. Today in ballet I felt like I could take my lid off more- letting go of inhibitions. I think it’s that session we did on the team on Tuesday- about letting go of fear of being seen.

I tied my theraband more today and it felt so good. It helps to aliven my tendons and elasticity. Then my body falls into such a more relaxed sense of balance and ease. And it springs rather than drops. I like.

I remembered today again that I decide what my reality is. If I believe I can’t do it, then that is true! If I get out of my own way, then things can glow and flow.

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A big city with lots of homes

In my travels this week, I have seen many different homes and parts of the city and different types of toast cooking divises!

So, last night, there was no toasting device. Luckily, I am some coconut oil and a pan! Cos millet bread is not good if it’s not toasty! This piece didn’t make it to completion in the pan- it got eaten by a little mouse. Mmmmmmmm.

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Hames on tour

I’ve stayed at 4 different places in the last 5 days, and by the time it gets to Friday, I’ll have stayed at 6 different friends houses! It’s actually been quite fun- and also silly at the same time! Silly is the only word that really fits right now.

This is from Sunday morning… a deserted NYC street. Very different feeling from the week days.

Thank you to my wonderful friends for putting me up, and thank you to my life for allowing me to feel more grounded in myself, so that I don’t have to have a physical base to feel settled.

I love this picture. It’s at Kim’s house. She has beautiful art that she created. Kim is the creator of our own ‘Toscano piece’ that we have in our BodyTalk Space.

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Clarity and toast

More and more recently I have been observing a part of me that is leading me to take cerain actions and respond to situations in a way that isn’t really respecting myself. Or I’m subconsciously (although I guess it must have come out of the depths and risen to the surface as I can now see it) acting in ways where I think that’s what the other person wants- so that they’ll ‘like me’ or not reject me. That’s all based on fear and not trusting that if I follow my truth and act with clear integrity that then I’ll fall- fail- be rejected. That’s heavy stuff for 3am. But doesn’t actually feel so heavy tho. It’s more like ‘oh, wow, look at that about myself. That’s not real is it?’ Cos acting from my fears is only going to perpetuate more of the same outcome. Why do I think that if I try the same stratergy over and over that I’ll get a different outcome. Of cousre not! I guess before I didn’t recognize it, less have the strength to shift it. Something happened in the session that Muchelle did on me yesterday that has shifted a lot of fears to do with how I am received by others. There’s always this quiet but audible voice that is sensoring me and running all the possible sceanarios- if I say or do this or that… and then it picks the one based on fear of rejection. It doesn’t even matter what the action is, it’s the fact it’s based on fear and the part that feels like it doesn’t deserve to have a truely expansive life- so why not worry about stuff!?

For some reason, I have just seen all of this. Woken up in the middle of the night. Hungry but clear! Toast by phone light.

Go back to sleep. Huh, that’s funny. Can’t really do that can I? Ok, goodnight x

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Must keep moving

Sometimes I consider not going to ballet or moving my body… and I know that if I did that it would not be a good thing! I’d get all stagnent and agitated. I know that when I move the energy on my body, the energy moves in my life!

I’ve been doing a lot of moving this week- from one place to another. I’ve been resisting it, thinking I want a home to be settled in. I am just remembering that last night in a BodyTalk session Michelle was giving me there was a permission for me to accepting that my life is just the way it should be. I heard a voice inside me scream ‘No!!’. I’m meant to be settled. But today I am feeling more acceptance to this constant movement. It must be here for a reason. Doesn’t want me to get too rooted in one place.

Must keep moving!

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What a lovely breakfast!

I love this picture. I just had to stick it up here! This was mine and Jessica’s magnificent breakfast yesterday…

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Grrrrrrrrrrrr

The worst thing about moving is carrying stuff. It makes me really grrrrrr. My body gets all tight and agitated. Dealing with people on the subway and carrying too much crap up and down the stairs. I also don’t get to ballet early enough to really give myself enough time to warm up and do what I need to get in my body properly. I can do it somewhat without warming up, but I haven’t really got there yet.

I feel like a bag lady with all this stuff. Grrrrr. I’m feeling anger today- which is interesting as anger’s a mover- it moves things in the body. I was listening to a class last night and this morning- and by ‘coinsidence’, it was all about the liver. Hmmm. My joints were a bit achey yesterday too…. I wonder what’s going on. I’m going to see if I can get myself a BodyTalk session today and see what comes up. Maybe nothing with my liver!?

The hardest thing that I find when I feel emotion like this is accepting it and not judging myself. In class, it so easy to repremand myself and ask why I can’t just connect to the flow and peace?? The fact is, sometimes you just have to feel it! The next step is to feel it and not blame the person who gets in my way on the subway.

This reminds me to have compassion for grumpy people! Which we all are at some point. Maybe they’ve just got an overworked, taxed liver?

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Cleaning house

It’s late. I really would like to be asleep, but I know that my resisting being up too late isn’t going to help!

I’m still up cos I have to clean up and move out my apartment for the week. I have this situation where I share my apartment and have to move out once a month. I need to find a new apartment soon….

But what I was thinking is that despite me not being particularly thrilled about having to clean at 12.45 in the morning, it’s kinda cool to have a big clear out once a month. It’s like BodyTalk! Isn’t everything!? We accumalate stuff. The body gets clogged up with garbage, just like a house. There’s always things that the body has to process and clean out. The floors need sweeping and the garbage needs taking out.

I won’t ever go more than a month without a BodyTalk session- and it’s even better if I do some every day. That’s like cleaning up as you go along. Makes it a lot easier to deal with when it’s not such an overwhelming job.

This is why when you haven’t done any cleaning in your body for a while, it can take some time to find all the garbage, clean it out and then reorganize. It’s a process. And we live, so we’re always going to make more garbage, but we can get a lot better at dealing, processing and cleaning it out!

Clean house at least one a month. It keeps things flowing and able to change. Don’t get stagnent and stuck in a rut! Now I don’t mind quite so much that I’m loosing my sleep for the sake of cleaning.

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Fizzling bath balls

Balls. Balls. Balls. They seem to be a big part of my life! He he he. Green balls mainly, but also orange ones and yellow too. I like to stand in them, roll on them, tap with them.

But they don’t fizzle. The ball I plopped in my bath today fizzled… it fizzed until I pulled it out and then it fizzled some more. The bubbles and efferfessence captivated me (and I nearly burnt my toast!) as I had to get a picture and then a little movie. What can I use this image for? Releasing tension, melting shoulders, energy fizzling around, brain fog melting… What else? Imagine lots of these fizzling bath balls all over your body melting away tension and stress.

I felt wonderful in ballet today. Really flowing and connected. I did a couple of combinations with my theraband tied around me, and it was just so amazing to feel that elasticity spring through my body. Once I connect to that feeling it reverberates through me and my insides- bones, ligaments, joints, organs… spring to 3 dimensional life. What else is there to do than to fizzle and spring!!!?

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A whole day long

Today I have been so aware of these two simultaneous paralell universes and I have been switching between the 2 seamlessly! I don’t actually want to be in the latter universe but it’s showing me a lot about myself. I was sharing with a client today about the process of doing and getting BodyTalk and how start to shift our reality to a whole different place that we couldn’t have even conceived before. As you start to imagine the new possibilities, it plants a seed in what will be your reality. Letting go of the fears and ties that keep us bound to insecurities and limitations allows the space for new horizons. The process of imagining the new and simultaneously letting go of the old program is where there seems to be the differing universes.

When I’m in one place, the world is an open book and reality reflects that. It’s in that place I can start to imagine the new with clarity and belief. The other place can look the same in the outside world in that moment, but inside it’s completely different. Different perspective = different reality. So… that means to change reality- change perspective and then reality will catch up to that place.

Unfortunately this means we can no longer blame anything outside of us for our reality. Woah. That’s a big one. Start with the small things.

I know that when I’m sharing with clients, it’s really for me to hear!

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and then I remember

That who’s making the decision anyway!? I mean am I really making the decision? And in another parallel Universe there’s the version where I make the other decision. It’s really not that important. Ok, I’m giving it up!

I have to say that in ballet today, I noticed a really big change in my response to a certain thing that would have triggered me before. Instead of going into my mind and judging the situation, I was just chilled, and didn’t even think twice about it. It was pretty cool I have to say. That was definitely the result of all those BodyTalk sessions I had last week. Not taking things or the way people act too seriously- and certainly not personally!

Very cool. Ok, I soo have to go to sleep! Goodnight world x

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Making desicions

(I took this on the subway on the way home, just as I finished writing this post.. incase you’re wondering what it’s got to do with anything!?)

Making desicions. This or that? Should I shan’t I? I don’t know. Maybe. Yes. No. Definately. But then…

Does it really matter!? Desicions are funny things. I know it’s easier if you have a clear focus. Usually these uncertain desicions are happening subconciously. Part of you wants to move forward and another part doesn’t.

I think the most important thing is to decide something! It’s that in between undecided place that creates the fuzz stress.

Ok, I’m going. But wait. Maybe not!

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Tea with family on a Sunday afternoon

Here’s my family. That’s my mum in the mirror on my dad’s computer. In fact, I made that mirror when I was about 15!  

My parents are wonderful… but sometimes they do set me back a few years. I don’t know how it happens, but sometimes even via the internet I regress. I think I need to do some work on that! 

My dad’s in Brighton, and my mum’s in Bali.

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A tree of Vision and Thanks

Ariane and I started building out tree in the BodyTalk Space yesterday. I had a vision a few weeks back that we needed a tree that would double up as our notice board! It represents all aspects of the connection between the earth- foundations, stability, rooted whilst being flowing, ever changing and reaching to the sky. 

 

We are asking everyone to send a leaf to go on the branches. These leaves are for you to write visions and thanks. We are growing our network, our connection, support and creations. It’s kind of like a big vision board. The leaves will change with the seasons. You should send a leaf, and/ or come in and add your vision.

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STOP! Do it now

When I ask my clients if they have been tapping out their cortices, they usually say “not as often as I’d like”. Then continue saying “I think about it, and then I don’t do it every time- but I should really just do it when I think about it. I feel so much better when I do.”

That’s what happened to me this morning. I wrote that blog telling myself to tap out my cortices, and then I didn’t do it! Why is that!? I had to read my blog post to remind me, and after I saw that, it made me stop and actually do it. Then I got so inspired that I tapped out the whole of Access routine. I decided as I am now certified to teach Access, I have to do it every day! Sometimes it’s really hard to make the time to stop and give yourself what you really need. 

It also helped that Jessica knocked on the door, and I could do Access on her too. She’s agreed to be my guinea pig, and I’m going to do Access with her every day- and on myself too.

If you want to be reminded to tap out your cortices, send me an email, and I’ll send you email reminders!

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web-mania

I got a bit inspired last night… and now I'm on a website, blog, facebook rampage! This is all going to be very useful. It's early, and I haven't even tapped out my cortices yet…
STOP.. and do it now! OK! :-)

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To Brooklyn and back again

It’s way too late, and I don’t know where the time has gone… I think I got lost in facebook and blog land! I can’t even remember the beginning of my day now… but it began a long time ago! I remember now, I had to go and wait for Verizon. They were meant to come between 8-12, but didn’t show up till 2.15, by which time I was very late for my coop shift. All the way to Brooklyn to shop. it’s so worth it though. The food is so much better than anywhere else I’ve ever been to. Everything fell into place, and I made it back home on the subway and up 5 flights of stairs with my suitcase full of food! “What have you got in here? Rocks? Asked one guy who was helping me up the subway stairs…. “no, potatoes!” I replied.

This is sideways. Incase you hadn’t noticed. I’m too tired to work it out now. I’m sure I had some more interesting and profound things to say a few hours ago!? But now, there’s empty space! 

Tomorrow, I’m building/ making/ painting/ growing a tree… I’ll take pics. Goodnight x

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Music from within

We didn’t have a pianist in ballet today. I figured that would not be a good thing (based on my past experiences!) but of course I can shift anything if I decide! So… I did. I feel so much stronger and more complete today. I guess the intense sessions I’ve had over the past few days are taking effect and I am much clearer and more able to make the choice of self support.

As the class went on, I found the music inside of me. I heard and felt the symphony coordinating each movement. Each image. Feeling the breath in my finger tips, the energy and support from my kidneys, the dynamic elastcity in my pelvis and spring in my feet. My imagery is really moving into a place of balanced right- left brain, with my awareness being able to be on an aspect and the whole at the same time.

Finding the music and support within me has been my biggest lesson recently. I can’t give my power away or expect anyone else to give me a feeling. It’s not an easy one and think it will take me years, but it’s changed and it feels supportive. I guess that’s what self support is.

Finding the music inside of you.

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The process

This process of BodyTalk and franklin and dance and life and self is never still. In a midst of the constant changes, there is a place of stillness inside. I am so thankful to have that connection.

I am thrilled to announce that I am a certified BodyTalk Access trainer. I am delighted to share this wonderful work with communities and the world.

Today I dances imaging my kidneys. I did BodyTalk to ask what I should focus on… and it said kidneys. So I did. Really stabalizing and grounding. I could see them spiral around each other and provide my low back with balanced support.

What is support? That’s an interesting question, isn’t it!? It’s not holding or controlling. It more allowing and observing.

My battery is low. So, I’ll stop here for now x

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Stepping forward

You can’t ‘get somthing back’, you can only step forward. Right. Forgot that. Stepping into a whole new world of unknowns can be scary. To believe it. To recognize it’s all about you, and to reach for the stars.

Today I had a BodyTalk session in the class. Woah. I turned jelly rag doll and couldn’t move for over an hour. It was kinda funny but I’m glad I’m not paralyzed. All I could do was blink. Haven’t really felt like writing too much these past few days as so much has been shifting, I’ve had no stable reality from which to write. It’s not over yet. There’s another part of this wave that’s going to wash me ashore to a new island. There’s no point in swimming or trying, cos it’s happening and all I can do is flow with it.

Energy, focus, direction, flow. No going backwards. There’s no point swimming against the tide tryig to hold onto the familiar. Let it go and there’s space for new posibilities.

I’m stepping into a new phase of my life. Embracing it. Growing up.

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Milkshake all over the floor

I’m sat in the subway… waiting for the train. There is milkshake all over the floor.

That’s all I have to say today!

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Letting go of (yet more) fear and opening my heart

How new age sounding! It’s not. Well I guess it is as well. Hmm

Yesterday I felt like I was drowning in fears and worries and ‘what ifs..’ That stuff is very heavy and made my body feel like it was clogged up with all kinds of heavy, old junk. It created this reality where I was unsupported and setting up realities of ‘failure’. Of couse there is no such thing but the voice said ‘I just can’t do all this.’

Thank you Simon for your wonderful support and hugs.

This morning I took some time to be and do feel the stillness around me. I remembered the thing about supporting myself. If I can’t support myself, how do I expect life to reflect support back to me? So today I slowed down and softened into the fears. From this place, I can recognize they’re not real.

As I feel the support in my body, through my femur heads and into the ground, the tesnion can melt away. How can my femurs supper me if I’ve got so much tension? They can’t! My center of gravity then lowers, my breath becomes easier and fuller and my heart can open.

In ballet today I focussed on feeling my heart being open as I travelled accross the floor. Life is so different from this place. I need to do more Franklin method. I’m so excited to start teaching my classes. I’m ready to really open up this life and start having some fun.

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What’s it all about?

I’m walking through Union Square to the subway listening to Prince feeling a warm, happy, excited buzz. It’s all connecting. Reconnecting. The pieces are coming together and it’s so exciting and yet a little bit unbelievable. There’s a voice inside that doesn’t believe that this is all possible, and yet I am witnessing and feeling it all happen.

I just reconnected with a dear friend and we talked and did BodyTalk. I feel so happy. We haven’t been in touch for a while, and yet there’s been this connection between us that’s undeniable.

I have realized (thanks to some awesome friends & sessions) so many things about BodyTalk today. And what we’re doing- or not doing!! It’s all inside all of us. It just gives you a way to access that truth. It’s so individual. Just as each person’s session is totally unique, so is each person’s exploration and expression and creation that is catalysed from doing BodyTalk.

We’re using Innate to connect to what we already know, by challenging you to get out of your own way, and then you’re tapping out a thought! How crazy is that!?

When you connect to that, it creates this buzz. It’s not about getting approval or doing it ‘right’ or as you’re ‘supposed’ to do it.

It’s about those moments, those connections. Each moment. Being in each moment and then there is no room for concern of approval.

I feel like the sessions today were like reading the next part of the chapter of the story that started yesterday.. Or at the beginning of my life- or the circle of life!

It’s incredible to be able connect to people on this level, knowing and trusting in the perfection and that thongs will only come up when they are ready. Really respecting the natural flow and order and not pushing through that with force. There is no need for force. Just like reading a story. It just unfolds as you put the pieces together.

I can’t believe how cool this stuff is.

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Intension NOT tension

In ballet today I realized- again (after I forgot!) that it’s all about intension…. not tension! When I’m dancing with effort and tension it blocks my ability to flow. It creates this dillusion that by working really hard and pushing through the self created resistance that somehow I’m being really productive!!! Oh dear, that’s silly! It’s hard not to do though. I know that if I just have clear intension and move with ease then everything really is more efficient! There can be space for flow and for my energies to create the form and flow.

As I write this I totally see how I forgot this realization as I stepped out of class and into the world. I have been catching myself thinking ‘I have soo much to do..’ which just cretes these resistances that I then have to ‘work harder’ to overcome! It creates tension and then that becomes my reality.

I know that I can decide to switch my reality back to flow and possibilities and creation. So, I’m switching it! There we go. All switched! Now I’m in a different reality and I can reconnect to why I’m doing this all anyway!

I have space to be thankful for all the beauty and connection that I experienced today. Wonderful people, sharing and creations. Letting go of ‘all the things that need to get done’. Then there is the space for time to slow down. The ‘things’ can create themselves, as after all im not really dping it anyway! All that is important is each moment. Thank you.

Waiting for the subway… rolling out some tension!

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Food tastes better with friends

Cooking and eating in New York City can be quite a challenge… but it’s SO worth it! Especially when you are lucky enough to be able to cook, and eat with friends. It’s funny, the food really does taste better when you have someone else to witness it. Jessica and I made a long expedition to the Park Slope food coop yesterday. I LOVE that place. I had to take a picture of the brussels sprout cos they looked so happy. They are like little cabbages with all those lovely layers. 

A plant, Brassica oleracea gemmifera of the mustard family, that bears small edible, green heads on it’s stem.

I love squash too.

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